6 Things I Realized The Month Everything Changed
Exactly one month ago, I left my office job for good. Since then, I have embarked on 7 flights, hiked through Son Doong: the world’s largest cave, motorcycled through the streets of Hanoi, moved to a new city, and started a new job. It has been a wonderful whirlwind, and I’ve never felt as present as I did having breakfast as the light streamed into the Son Doong campsite, running through the pouring rain with my boss to the office in Ottawa, coincidentally walking past Parliament Hill right at sunset, or pulling a broken shopping cart to my new house in Quebec City.
It has not been all fun and games. Furnishing a house from scratch in a strange city and second language is as hard as it sounds, and having gone to university in Toronto, I have never lived away from home before. I’ve never had to worry about leery movers realizing I’m alone at night, and I’ve never missed so many summer evenings with my friends.
Every day has been a challenge, from fighting jet lag to fighting stains on a second-hand fridge, but I can feel myself growing in a way that only new experiences can bring forth. In the midst of all this movement, here are some realizations that struck me throughout this month.
1. Home is a feeling.
My childhood of moving from country to country has made it difficult for me to define where home is, but there have been two moments when I have felt strongly that I knew. The first was several years ago, looking out the plane window as we broke through the clouds and the lights of Toronto skyscrapers came into view. For a long time, I thought this meant that I had accepted Toronto as home. However, the second moment came this month, when I mounted a motorcycle for the first time in years.
Some of my earliest memories are from the back of a motorcycle, with my dad driving and my mom behind me on the way to daycare. When I was in grade school, my dad drove me to and from school on a motorbike every day, and I have always remembered loving it: pretending I was horseback riding with the wind in my hair, the weaving through cracks in traffic, and feeling so in tune with the city’s sights, sounds, and smells.
Getting back on was the most natural feeling in the world. I had not lost my comfort on the seat or my joy in riding. It is the one place in Vietnam I still feel more like a local than foreigner, and feeling that made me realize how home can be found in anything — forsythia bushes beside a creek, a painting of horses on a wall, a familiar sentence in a Harry Potter book — wherever it may be.
2. Leeches aren’t that scary.
I have never been camping in a place without washrooms and showers. I’m terrified of insects and would have been happy to go through life without ever encountering a leech or having to pee in the woods. But then, I would never have gotten to see the stunning sights of places like Son Doong.
Not once on this trip did I wish I was anywhere else, even when a leech wriggled out of my sneakers — shockingly, they don’t actually do much harm. These 4 days of being perpetually damp and dirty made me see what I was capable of pushing through for a good enough reason.
3. Getting started is the best way to learn.
When I returned to Canada, I was 10 days late to start my new job. My colleagues were wrapping up our two weeks of training and preparing to get started, and I had barely recovered from jet lag. I spent several days going over missed material and fretting about all kinds of things — fully expressing myself in French, how to furnish a house, how to find resources in a completely strange city.
And then, exactly one week after I landed, I got to work. Immediately, I started getting responses and seeing things getting done. With the ball rolling, so much of what had stressed me out began to get resolved, bit by bit.
4. Taking yourself out to dinner can be remarkably refreshing.
The Saturday I was back in Canada, I stayed behind in Peterborough for some additional training while the rest of the team left. After the day wrapped up, I was left to get dinner by myself.
In Toronto, this would have never happened. I would have called up a friend immediately and spent the meal in their company, but I didn’t have that option, so I searched for a nice place close to my hotel and ordered a table for one in the patio.
It was such a calming experience after a very full few weeks, and I realized how nice my own company was. I walked to a nearby coffee shop afterwards and the time and space to both treat myself and recentre put me in a great mood for the rest of the evening.
5. Ask.
When I was offered this job, I asked if I could start 10 days late into a 14 day training. I asked with little hope of getting a positive response, but I was not about to cancel my trip, so I had to. They said yes.
The last time I was offered a job, I also asked if I could start a month later than their expected date. They also said yes.
6. Strangers will help you.
When I arrived to this house in Quebec City, it had nothing — no stove, no fridge, no washer or dryer or furniture. I had one night at a hotel to figure out how to make it livable. With no car, no friends in the city, and mediocre language skills, this seemed a bit of an impossible task. However, cold emails, mutual friends, and posts on Facebook pulled through, and one very kind man in particular rented a truck and drove me around the city picking up (heavy) donations and helping me move them all to the house. 48 hours later, I had all my appliances, 2 sofa-beds, 2 couches, tables, chairs, and more, all for free — entirely thanks to the kindness of strangers.